overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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