haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
you never un-have a 4some
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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