just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
