Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
