I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
