I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
