I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
