That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
