I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
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The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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