this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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