Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
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I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
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