ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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