Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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