I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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