You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
