well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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