Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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