About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Everclear isn't food dammit
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
