Ambien. No doubt about it.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
And then my night got REAL pukey
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
