Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
