yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
