Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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