As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i drank out of a bidet.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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