so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
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I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
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HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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