My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
well, you know. whores of a feather.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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