How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
