Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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