I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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