Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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