This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
