She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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