All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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