I feel like I'm in dance class right now
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
