So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
