guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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