Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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