can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Never underestimate the power of titties
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
