If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
i've created a new STD.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
