I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
And then he peed in my hair
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