I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
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my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
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Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
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