Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
