Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
