There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
