Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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