Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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