I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize