thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
