STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize