i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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