I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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