Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
