I hope mine doesn't look like that
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
