with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
