and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
