and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
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She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
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The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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