I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Randomize