Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
