Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
