I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
she was so not down for the gang bang
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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