Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Randomize
